I once dated a girl who had borderline personality disorder. The way that he describes the situation is exactly the way mine was.

I sense so much pain in his voice. He can't make her see, make her realize that he is willing to give her everything and willing to do anything to make her happy, but she just won't let him.

Much like my situation.

" you don't like it in the shadows, you won't let me shine a light"

I Interpret this as someone who doesn't like where they are, Who they are, but they won't let anyone get close, won't let anyone help them.

" I would wash away your troubles. But it seems the more that I hold on, the more that you let go"

This is a person who can't allow to be helped, because they're scared. What they know is much safer than what they don't. So they hold on to what they know and let go of anything that might resemble change or is different and unknown.

" and I know, you better let somebody love you, or find yoursel, on your own"

This part brought me to tears. He is essentially giving up on the idea that he's the one who can break her walls. The one who can help her break her fears, the one she will trust and open up to. He's, at this point, just trying to make her understand that she needs to give someone, anyone, a chance to show her love, trust, even if it isn't him because he loves her that much.

The rest goes to describe what essentially happened to me, step by step.

Nothing I did was ever good enough. Whatever I did to show her I loved her never convinced her that I did. Anything that I did, as loving and caring and as much devotion as it showed, was always taken for something else. It was never what I meant. It was never what I hoped it would be in her eyes.

I love you. I hope you find a way to love and let someone love you. I wish it was me. But I love you none the less and wish you love and happiness even if it isn't with me.

I wish you could see I would have done anything for you and given you everything I offered. I miss you with all my heart. I hope you'll find happiness where you are.

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7rcXRopqipqSav7G%2BxK2YraGfo8Bvr86mZqOZnZrAbq7LrqWtZ5KawLV5y5qgnWWgoa6vvw%3D%3D